Life is crap

Okay, so majority of the Easter was spent at the library buried in revision - which if I think about it now was a bit pointless because I ended up cramming everything the night before exams anyway despite all of that pointless "preparation" which weren't even going into my head. Pea brain. Also, since getting back to uni, I broke up from my boyfriend of about 7-8 months. Yes I do feel insecure, but if I really think back at this relationship, what did I REALLY want out of it? Did I REALLY see the relationship lasting or was it one of those things that I just did for fun? Well it all started with me agreeing to go out with him when he told me he liked me and at the time I didn't feel the same way but I didn't want to lose a good friend by saying no. Okay he was fun when I was with him, which was the most important thing I guess (I could say this now, now that it's over), but I guess I did end up developing feelings for him (even though at the back of my mind I always knew it wasn't going to last, I didn't want to marry him, end of story, even though he often talked about things like that to me which made me feel slightly guilty because I wasn't being honest. But now I know I shouldn't feel guilty because all those "I love you"s, they just don't mean a thing.)

I thought I should just vent on this blog for the time being - obviously facebook isn't a perfect place to write any of this, twitter is read by my own mother (who doesn't seem to miss a word I tweet on it).

Stupid arsehole. Give me back my cardigan too. But thanks for the nice iPod dock speakers.

According to the film "The Social Network", Mark Zuckerberg's turning point in his life which led to the founding of Facebook was a break-up. Maybe this is a good sign for me too, although I'm highly unlikely to be on the way to becoming a billionaire. Oh well, I'm sure I could, like my ex said, "concentrate on my career so much more". What a needy bastard.

So now moving onto my point list of exam performance analysis (which is stupid considering that I still have a few exams to go):

Neurology - crap, maybe failed
Cancer studies - possibly fail
Reproduction and endocrinology - possible fail too
Sociology, law, ethics term 2 - slightly optimistic
Renal - much more optimistic
Cardiovascular - much more optimistic
Immunology and haematology - probably passed
Sociology, law, ethics term 1 - possible fail
PBL cases - Stats was easy, but poor performance on one of the sections
OSCE - oops. Ahhhh fingers crossed....
Student selected component 2 - essay was done, but the presentation was crap

Still to do: second sections for neurology, cancer studies and reproduction. Also the prosection exam.

Baring in mind that I haven't failed anything at med school yet.... oh I can't be too sure about this years exams. This year is supposed to be the hardest though... and judging by personal circumstances involving that arsehole, well. Fingers crossed. Sugar, well I've got the next few exams to try and compensate, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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