It's 5.30am

but I can't sleep. I don't know why, but I just can't. i can usually go through so many cups of coffee and sleep alright, but tonight I seem to have insomnia. I'm reading 'The Time Traveler's Wife', which I bought earlier from town - which is amazing. I'm hooked - I'm having an affair with the book and am taking a break from Robert Jordan. I've been craving to read the second book of the Saga of the Seven Suns series - I gave in and spent my 10 pound book voucher that I got as an award from my old sixth form on it today, along with 3 other books. Yesterday I was a bit of a book-shopaholic.

I wrote an essay for the first time in possibly 2 years when I got home yesterday. It was on whether homeopathy was effective to treat migraine. Apparently, as doctors we have to be aware of the existence of complementary medicine, which might affect the way we treat patients.

When I'm feeling seriously demotivated, I always wear my new blue stethoscope (yet to be used on patients!) with my name engraved on it and say to myself that I want to be a good doctor. Over and over again. I think it's working. I'm less lazy than I was before.

I also deleted facebook from my Safari brower's top-page of bookmarks. That was extremely effective too - I'm hardly ever on facebook nowadays. Funny how little actions lead to big consequences. I think I will need to delete Twitter from the top-page too. Hang on, I'll do that right now. Done.

Flicking through my mini Oxford Handbook of Clinical Medicine, I realised just how many illnesses I could identify the symptoms and causes of, under the endocrinology section. Although since I'm in my pre-clinical years I don't yet need to know the drugs prescribed, I still feel quite pleased with myself. I came to med school not knowing anything, now I feel like I know just a little bit more. I'm not such a complete failure after-all.

I've been told by my mother that I'm officially going to Osaka and Kyoto for a few days over the Christmas holidays - which is brilliant, since I was planning to go last summer but I somehow decided I wasn't organised enough. The intense heat-wave did impair my brain function.

Anyway, I found this youtube singer quite a while ago, I came back on her youtube channel and heard her original songs: amazing talent! I downloaded all of her songs from her website. If she releases a CD I would actually buy it.

AMAZING TALENT. Her youtube name is aozorafantasii, if anyone wants to subscribe to her channel.

I'm quite hungry now - it's now 6am, maybe I should wait until breakfast. Or have an extra-early breakfast.


One thing I keeping forgetting to mention on my blog.

I rather dislike it when patients call me their 'dear'
e.g. "Yes, dear" or "No, I haven't experienced any weight gain of late, dear, what else would you like to ask me?"

And sometimes they would call me a 'darling' and sometimes 'cheek' (this one is even more unsettling since I keep thinking they're saying something else which is racially offensive)

Okay, okay, I know I'm just a first year medic who struggles to measure your blood pressure (let alone find your brachial pulse), but I'm 18 going on 19 and some people in my year have turned 20! Of course I don't think anyone should address me as a doctor, because I'm not, but sometimes I just feel as if I'm being treated as a child and that sometimes pisses me off.
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hello dear, how are you today darling. You big fat *cheek*