Fear everything, you're just a human

I have never struggled so much in terms of academic study in my life. I am CONSTANTLY sleep-deprived - which is not always true because I fall asleep on my Essential Cell Biology textbook every now and then for about 15 minutes - and am usually still up until 3am trying to read up on biochemistry, anatomy, pharmacology, even when I know I'd need to go for a 9 o-clock lecture the next morning (and lectures go on from 9 until noon continuously without a break)

And you never get that brilliant feeling of having achieved anything each day. Because actually, you can never ever learn enough, you can never learn everything. You work your socks off to read up on a topic, but at the end of the day what you've actually achieved is putting your toe into a great ocean of knowledge.

I am so F"ING tired of this. I know this is leading to something that's really worthwhile, but what about my f"ng quality of life man!

But I'm looking forward to tomorrow. We're rehearsing the string quartet (which is actually a trio - we're playing Borodin!) followed by philharmonic orchestra rehearsal. Lectures sound extremely boring though - more ethics and public health. :(

The other day I went to Homebase with my flat-mates - we got a Christmas tree together! It was only a fiver, and the lights were only 8 pounds. It's in our living room AKA Amy's room - Amy put strings around Quality Street chocolates and hung them up - look like Christmas baubles init! There's a big map of Great Britain in the background of the different types of rocks found at different regions - you could tell she's studying Geography and Geology.

We've arranged Secret Santa too - with a budget of 10 pounds - the 'name in a hat' was quite pointless because since we were doing it in a three, you could just tell from what you've got, who's getting you a present. I noticed this, told Imogen - who was like, oh yeaaaaa! - but Amy? I haven't told her so she hasn't a clue!

PS I quit drinking. I drank a bit too much on Saturday night at my best friend's down in London - about half a bottle of pure vodka? 15 units or something init - and disaster struck, followed by a hangover which lasted until 5pm on Sunday.
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