2011/09/15
Meh. Procrastination.
So two weeks ago I started my first year of the clinical years. If I haven't mentioned so yet, basically I was "lucky" enough to get the furthest hospital placement possible, which is 1.5 hour (train or car) away from the medical school. So we get accommodation - we live in a building just outside the hospital.
And it's been pretty amazing so far. Very tiring, and you have to be on the ball all the time, you don't know what to expect when you walk into a random ward / A and E / ITU (yes, one evening my friend and I decided to spend the night at the ITU, because the consultant anaesthetist on-call then was nice). And it's been such a brilliant experience. It made me realise what I came to medical school to do. I actually want to be a doctor again. Waddup.
I'm being crushed by the workload already so I can't hang around here for long.
The breast surgeon who taught us how to do breast examination gave us all a fiction book each. Apparently she enjoyed reading those books. Okay there's only 12 of us at this hospital, but giving each of us a brand new book each would have cost her a fortune! And I picked out Hannibal of all books too. Yea, I think she expects us to send her a review, but I feel like I'd be losing sleep if I start reading this... decisions!
And it's been pretty amazing so far. Very tiring, and you have to be on the ball all the time, you don't know what to expect when you walk into a random ward / A and E / ITU (yes, one evening my friend and I decided to spend the night at the ITU, because the consultant anaesthetist on-call then was nice). And it's been such a brilliant experience. It made me realise what I came to medical school to do. I actually want to be a doctor again. Waddup.
I'm being crushed by the workload already so I can't hang around here for long.
The breast surgeon who taught us how to do breast examination gave us all a fiction book each. Apparently she enjoyed reading those books. Okay there's only 12 of us at this hospital, but giving each of us a brand new book each would have cost her a fortune! And I picked out Hannibal of all books too. Yea, I think she expects us to send her a review, but I feel like I'd be losing sleep if I start reading this... decisions!
2011/06/26
What happened since the last post
Well, not much. Last week of May I had my final set of MCQ exams. The real turning point came on the 2nd June when I went for my friend's birthday party at her house. I was obviously quite close to the friend who invited me, but I wasn't too familiar with her other friends - I was really really scared at first, but after a few pints of beer it wasn't too bad. Anyway, I met this guy there, he was actually her housemate, doing chemistry- I thought he was going out with a medic in my year, but apparently they broke up a few months ago. He kept coming over to me and talked and asked about just random things, I dunno, at the time he came across as one of those weird people who do stupid things to set a jokey kind of atmosphere when we're in a group so I guess I was kind of attracted to him as well. We all ended up going to a club - reached first base. Then on the cab home he asked if he could take me out to dinner. :)
Anyway week later I had my prosection exam (massive disaster, plus I had the worst period pain and compounded with me having some kind of postural hypotension I had to crouch down towards the end to stop myself from passing out) and day after that he took me out to the cinema where we watched Hangover 2. Then went to Nandos to get dinner. I was slightly worried for him because he had an exam the day after... but he still took me out anyway :) which was sweet. And well, he ended up getting a "first" in the exams...!! He doesn't look that way but he's actually pretty smart. The day after that, I went clubbing with him and his friends, though we had to take his friend home because he got waaaaay too drunk. He walked me home the next morning (nothing happened that night, obviously)
Day after that, he took me to the cinema (again) - watched Kung fu Panda 2 (because there wasn't anything else on!) I actually enjoyed the film...! Then he stayed over at mine. I made him watch Amelie on my laptop. The morning after that, I left for Manchester (he took me to the station) to visit a friend and he left for Germany (his brother lives there).
Manchester was fun - I stayed over for 2 nights at my friend's (who was externally resitting first year). The3 days consisted of shopping in town, watching films, more shopping at the Trafford centre (which looks like a foreign country on the inside), lots of eating out (and eating in), and gym to play badminton! It was uber uber fun. Kept thinking about the guy though.
Then came back, randomly went to see a uni production of some kind of opera - they were singing in English but I couldn't really follow the plot. Caught up with 2 medics in the process.
Then the hospital prep week started (this is last week) - the lectures were slightly disappointing. As in, boring. We had to spend 2 days at the hospital we're in for first term next year, which for me turned out to be the furthest hospital possible, 1.5 hour on the train, which meant I'd be getting accommodation there. Slightly isolating but everyone there was nice and super keen to teach us, which was amazing, so in terms of teaching I think I'm actually lucky to have that placement. I'm going to have to work very hard it seems,for next year. I don't really want to fall behind... it didn't really occur to me until those 2 days how independent you have to be from 3rd year, you're like the only person at the ward and you have to take initiative and find something to do...!! Oh, and the consultant anesthetist took us to the pub and bought us drinks, as well as paid for part of the curry. Fun times. I guess the 11 other people who are at my placement were all pretty nice so that's also good. I do think it's going to be slightly isolating though, especially in the evenings.
On thursday night, I went out to a club again, this time with a different bunch of people. It was pretty fun. I'm seriously beginning to see that there's more to life than just sitting alone in my room and watching anime for hours on end. I also feel like it's not very healthy that we all sit in our own rooms, at least in my flat, and be very unsociable. I guess in a way I'm partly responsible for making this routine in our flat. Hopefully my new flat for next year (I'll be flat-sharing with another medic girl who I'm living with now) would be a bit more lively. Anyway that night was slightly crazy, some creepy guy kept dancing with me.
The day before yesterday was results day. Oh and I passed! Was very shocked and pleased about that. I was anticipating at least one resit, but I was fine!! Plus I got placed in the first quartile again. Was quite chuffed. My average was 74% which means that if I apply for intercalation after third year I might get it...! The guy came back from Germany that day and cooked Risotto for me round his place - it was AMAZING. He's just so amazing :) We then went to the pub to meet up with his other friends (who he was saying goodbye to) - we played pool there. His friend played the guitar for us round his house too :) I stayed over round his house again.
The next morning he walked me home so I could pack my stuff - then he came to pick me up again so he could cook me Omelette for dinner, which was also amazing :) Then we watched a film with his housemates and friend from his course - 300 - It was a pretty horrible film, but yea, it was fun. Stayed over at his house again, then this morning he walked me home and we said goodbye, promised eachother not to do anything stupid over the hols and promised we'd see eachother again and more often when term starts. I guess it's not too bad with this guy - he's going to Hungary with his friends for a month during the summer to learn Hungarian (he's half Hungarian but doesn't speak the language. Oh he gave me a Hungarian textbook which his brother used when he was there, which is kind of sweet of him) whilst I'd be in Japan busy doing nothing. But at least we're both doing, like, something. Instead of waiting to see eachother again which was the case with Laurence. But the same "problem" stands for next year - which is that he's going togo on placement somewhere around Manchester for a drug firm (I've been told he got the best firm to do placement in... this guy is pretty damn clever) so it's pretty much going to be a long distance thing, if it does develop into a relationship. I wanted to ask where we were going, but I was too scared to ask. But he's so sweet to me, and he says he likes me, alot, like, pretty often. I think I'm slowly falling for this guy.
And today, he's gone. He should now be on the train back to his place with all that stuff scattered all over the place in his room - hope he made it on the train...!! I got a text, apparently he made it.
Okay, my flatmate was moving out just a second ago and told me about Christine (who I'm living with next year) and how she's been bitching about me behind my back. Apparently she has no respect for me, she thinks I'm pretty much pathetic and is only using me because I'm easy to control. I feel slightly abandoned and the truth does hurt, but I think it's good that I know this now, so I could start looking for where to live next year. I just need to be a bit more proactive, get to know a few more people and know who my real friends are. I guess it makes sense how she doesn't really have any friends - and how her only friend from first year which she came to properly hate now doesn't really want to have anything to do with her. I'm sure there's also something about this person as well, but that can't be everything. I wish I saw this at a much earlier stage. Gawd why didn't I see this and decide to expand my territory at a much earlier stage...?!?! I'm such a retard.
Anyway week later I had my prosection exam (massive disaster, plus I had the worst period pain and compounded with me having some kind of postural hypotension I had to crouch down towards the end to stop myself from passing out) and day after that he took me out to the cinema where we watched Hangover 2. Then went to Nandos to get dinner. I was slightly worried for him because he had an exam the day after... but he still took me out anyway :) which was sweet. And well, he ended up getting a "first" in the exams...!! He doesn't look that way but he's actually pretty smart. The day after that, I went clubbing with him and his friends, though we had to take his friend home because he got waaaaay too drunk. He walked me home the next morning (nothing happened that night, obviously)
Day after that, he took me to the cinema (again) - watched Kung fu Panda 2 (because there wasn't anything else on!) I actually enjoyed the film...! Then he stayed over at mine. I made him watch Amelie on my laptop. The morning after that, I left for Manchester (he took me to the station) to visit a friend and he left for Germany (his brother lives there).
Manchester was fun - I stayed over for 2 nights at my friend's (who was externally resitting first year). The3 days consisted of shopping in town, watching films, more shopping at the Trafford centre (which looks like a foreign country on the inside), lots of eating out (and eating in), and gym to play badminton! It was uber uber fun. Kept thinking about the guy though.
Then came back, randomly went to see a uni production of some kind of opera - they were singing in English but I couldn't really follow the plot. Caught up with 2 medics in the process.
Then the hospital prep week started (this is last week) - the lectures were slightly disappointing. As in, boring. We had to spend 2 days at the hospital we're in for first term next year, which for me turned out to be the furthest hospital possible, 1.5 hour on the train, which meant I'd be getting accommodation there. Slightly isolating but everyone there was nice and super keen to teach us, which was amazing, so in terms of teaching I think I'm actually lucky to have that placement. I'm going to have to work very hard it seems,for next year. I don't really want to fall behind... it didn't really occur to me until those 2 days how independent you have to be from 3rd year, you're like the only person at the ward and you have to take initiative and find something to do...!! Oh, and the consultant anesthetist took us to the pub and bought us drinks, as well as paid for part of the curry. Fun times. I guess the 11 other people who are at my placement were all pretty nice so that's also good. I do think it's going to be slightly isolating though, especially in the evenings.
On thursday night, I went out to a club again, this time with a different bunch of people. It was pretty fun. I'm seriously beginning to see that there's more to life than just sitting alone in my room and watching anime for hours on end. I also feel like it's not very healthy that we all sit in our own rooms, at least in my flat, and be very unsociable. I guess in a way I'm partly responsible for making this routine in our flat. Hopefully my new flat for next year (I'll be flat-sharing with another medic girl who I'm living with now) would be a bit more lively. Anyway that night was slightly crazy, some creepy guy kept dancing with me.
The day before yesterday was results day. Oh and I passed! Was very shocked and pleased about that. I was anticipating at least one resit, but I was fine!! Plus I got placed in the first quartile again. Was quite chuffed. My average was 74% which means that if I apply for intercalation after third year I might get it...! The guy came back from Germany that day and cooked Risotto for me round his place - it was AMAZING. He's just so amazing :) We then went to the pub to meet up with his other friends (who he was saying goodbye to) - we played pool there. His friend played the guitar for us round his house too :) I stayed over round his house again.
The next morning he walked me home so I could pack my stuff - then he came to pick me up again so he could cook me Omelette for dinner, which was also amazing :) Then we watched a film with his housemates and friend from his course - 300 - It was a pretty horrible film, but yea, it was fun. Stayed over at his house again, then this morning he walked me home and we said goodbye, promised eachother not to do anything stupid over the hols and promised we'd see eachother again and more often when term starts. I guess it's not too bad with this guy - he's going to Hungary with his friends for a month during the summer to learn Hungarian (he's half Hungarian but doesn't speak the language. Oh he gave me a Hungarian textbook which his brother used when he was there, which is kind of sweet of him) whilst I'd be in Japan busy doing nothing. But at least we're both doing, like, something. Instead of waiting to see eachother again which was the case with Laurence. But the same "problem" stands for next year - which is that he's going togo on placement somewhere around Manchester for a drug firm (I've been told he got the best firm to do placement in... this guy is pretty damn clever) so it's pretty much going to be a long distance thing, if it does develop into a relationship. I wanted to ask where we were going, but I was too scared to ask. But he's so sweet to me, and he says he likes me, alot, like, pretty often. I think I'm slowly falling for this guy.
And today, he's gone. He should now be on the train back to his place with all that stuff scattered all over the place in his room - hope he made it on the train...!! I got a text, apparently he made it.
Okay, my flatmate was moving out just a second ago and told me about Christine (who I'm living with next year) and how she's been bitching about me behind my back. Apparently she has no respect for me, she thinks I'm pretty much pathetic and is only using me because I'm easy to control. I feel slightly abandoned and the truth does hurt, but I think it's good that I know this now, so I could start looking for where to live next year. I just need to be a bit more proactive, get to know a few more people and know who my real friends are. I guess it makes sense how she doesn't really have any friends - and how her only friend from first year which she came to properly hate now doesn't really want to have anything to do with her. I'm sure there's also something about this person as well, but that can't be everything. I wish I saw this at a much earlier stage. Gawd why didn't I see this and decide to expand my territory at a much earlier stage...?!?! I'm such a retard.
2011/05/26
Life is crap
Okay, so majority of the Easter was spent at the library buried in revision - which if I think about it now was a bit pointless because I ended up cramming everything the night before exams anyway despite all of that pointless "preparation" which weren't even going into my head. Pea brain. Also, since getting back to uni, I broke up from my boyfriend of about 7-8 months. Yes I do feel insecure, but if I really think back at this relationship, what did I REALLY want out of it? Did I REALLY see the relationship lasting or was it one of those things that I just did for fun? Well it all started with me agreeing to go out with him when he told me he liked me and at the time I didn't feel the same way but I didn't want to lose a good friend by saying no. Okay he was fun when I was with him, which was the most important thing I guess (I could say this now, now that it's over), but I guess I did end up developing feelings for him (even though at the back of my mind I always knew it wasn't going to last, I didn't want to marry him, end of story, even though he often talked about things like that to me which made me feel slightly guilty because I wasn't being honest. But now I know I shouldn't feel guilty because all those "I love you"s, they just don't mean a thing.)
I thought I should just vent on this blog for the time being - obviously facebook isn't a perfect place to write any of this, twitter is read by my own mother (who doesn't seem to miss a word I tweet on it).
Stupid arsehole. Give me back my cardigan too. But thanks for the nice iPod dock speakers.
According to the film "The Social Network", Mark Zuckerberg's turning point in his life which led to the founding of Facebook was a break-up. Maybe this is a good sign for me too, although I'm highly unlikely to be on the way to becoming a billionaire. Oh well, I'm sure I could, like my ex said, "concentrate on my career so much more". What a needy bastard.
So now moving onto my point list of exam performance analysis (which is stupid considering that I still have a few exams to go):
Neurology - crap, maybe failed
Cancer studies - possibly fail
Reproduction and endocrinology - possible fail too
Sociology, law, ethics term 2 - slightly optimistic
Renal - much more optimistic
Cardiovascular - much more optimistic
Immunology and haematology - probably passed
Sociology, law, ethics term 1 - possible fail
PBL cases - Stats was easy, but poor performance on one of the sections
OSCE - oops. Ahhhh fingers crossed....
Student selected component 2 - essay was done, but the presentation was crap
Still to do: second sections for neurology, cancer studies and reproduction. Also the prosection exam.
Baring in mind that I haven't failed anything at med school yet.... oh I can't be too sure about this years exams. This year is supposed to be the hardest though... and judging by personal circumstances involving that arsehole, well. Fingers crossed. Sugar, well I've got the next few exams to try and compensate, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I thought I should just vent on this blog for the time being - obviously facebook isn't a perfect place to write any of this, twitter is read by my own mother (who doesn't seem to miss a word I tweet on it).
Stupid arsehole. Give me back my cardigan too. But thanks for the nice iPod dock speakers.
According to the film "The Social Network", Mark Zuckerberg's turning point in his life which led to the founding of Facebook was a break-up. Maybe this is a good sign for me too, although I'm highly unlikely to be on the way to becoming a billionaire. Oh well, I'm sure I could, like my ex said, "concentrate on my career so much more". What a needy bastard.
So now moving onto my point list of exam performance analysis (which is stupid considering that I still have a few exams to go):
Neurology - crap, maybe failed
Cancer studies - possibly fail
Reproduction and endocrinology - possible fail too
Sociology, law, ethics term 2 - slightly optimistic
Renal - much more optimistic
Cardiovascular - much more optimistic
Immunology and haematology - probably passed
Sociology, law, ethics term 1 - possible fail
PBL cases - Stats was easy, but poor performance on one of the sections
OSCE - oops. Ahhhh fingers crossed....
Student selected component 2 - essay was done, but the presentation was crap
Still to do: second sections for neurology, cancer studies and reproduction. Also the prosection exam.
Baring in mind that I haven't failed anything at med school yet.... oh I can't be too sure about this years exams. This year is supposed to be the hardest though... and judging by personal circumstances involving that arsehole, well. Fingers crossed. Sugar, well I've got the next few exams to try and compensate, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
2011/03/19
Fundraising
So, I've been fundraising for the Japanese Red Cross by walking around with buckets all day on friday - collected a decent amount so far but I feel like I should be doing a bit more.
Anyway, yesterday I was taking the taxi to a concert with 2 of my friends. On the taxi I was telling them about the fundraising I've been doing all day - I guess the taxi driver was kind of listening in as well, and when we were getting off, he said he wanted the money he was going to charge us on getting to the concert (which was 7 pounds) donated to charity!! That's so much more than what most people donate... I felt a bit bad because that's all his salary for one "drive" right... but still, what an amazing guy. He said he was originally from Afghanistan and he felt so frustrated in the same sort of way when the war struck out and the country had to rebuild from scratch. He asked me to pray for his country too.
So yes, before I put his donation into the collecting box, I thought I should share this with the blogosphere... thank you so much taxi-guy! xxx
What's going on in my life:
Well, I have two exams coming up - one multiple-choice and one group-presentation. I'm trying to finish my essay titled "Antiviral therapy for hepatitis C and hepatocellular carcinoma: augmentation of the innate and adaptive immune response" all weekend... I've done 1500 words today, ooo hopefully I'd be nearly finished by tomorrow... reading scientific papers take ages!! I want to take a year out to do research, but for SP1 that occurs at the same time as second year modules, I think I should have picked an easier subject, probably medicine in society and the likes... argh, bad choice. But still, very interesting.
Anyway, yesterday I was taking the taxi to a concert with 2 of my friends. On the taxi I was telling them about the fundraising I've been doing all day - I guess the taxi driver was kind of listening in as well, and when we were getting off, he said he wanted the money he was going to charge us on getting to the concert (which was 7 pounds) donated to charity!! That's so much more than what most people donate... I felt a bit bad because that's all his salary for one "drive" right... but still, what an amazing guy. He said he was originally from Afghanistan and he felt so frustrated in the same sort of way when the war struck out and the country had to rebuild from scratch. He asked me to pray for his country too.
So yes, before I put his donation into the collecting box, I thought I should share this with the blogosphere... thank you so much taxi-guy! xxx
What's going on in my life:
Well, I have two exams coming up - one multiple-choice and one group-presentation. I'm trying to finish my essay titled "Antiviral therapy for hepatitis C and hepatocellular carcinoma: augmentation of the innate and adaptive immune response" all weekend... I've done 1500 words today, ooo hopefully I'd be nearly finished by tomorrow... reading scientific papers take ages!! I want to take a year out to do research, but for SP1 that occurs at the same time as second year modules, I think I should have picked an easier subject, probably medicine in society and the likes... argh, bad choice. But still, very interesting.
2011/02/21
Ah, my blog has been fossilised
Sorry for not replying to comments and for my long absence from the blogosphere. Not much has happened, but I just didn't really feel like documenting anything that happened to me.
So, I got home for Christmas intact, spent a good month trying to revise, but didn't do as much as I did last year. Just got the results back and I passed everything, woot woot! Immunology caught me by surprise too, I got 90% which means that I'm okay to neglect immunology revision for the summer (to some extent) - the others were comfortable passes too, so I'm slightly chuffed.
Whilst slowly being killed by neuroanatomy, I've been having relationship problems. There are 3 different people in the world,
1) someone who values their career more than their relationship
2) someone who values their relationship more
and 3) amazing super-hero like people who manage to balance things out.
Now, like probably most of my other hardworking medic friends, I am type 1. There's a few who comes under 3, but they're like, amazing.
And on the other side of the relationship, there are 3 types of people:
1) someone who can accept that the other's career is important and accepts that they don't have as much time as they wanted to spend with them
2) someone who fails to do the above and becomes unhappy
3) someone who's equally busy and pre-occupied by work that not only are they 1, they don't have as much time for the other either.
My flatmate goes out with a 4th year medic, therefore her boyfriend is a 3. But mine? He falls under 2. He called me last night to say that - yes I did feel guilty that I was having to "fit him around my schedule" a bit, maybe I didn't make him feel valued and for that, I was in the "wrong".
So anyway, maybe it's like in "500 days of summer". "Life" just happens. He thinks we're "on a break" but to be honest, we both killed it. It's strange though, because only a few days ago he came round and it was so nice, and on the phone since then, it's also been nice. But yea, life.
I was upset that night when he called, slightly surprised it happened at that moment but I was kind of expecting that day to come. The funny thing is, maybe I was slightly on the "low" the next day at school but apart from that, I was quite fine. It also helped that I personally don't expect that much from life in general though.
So, I got home for Christmas intact, spent a good month trying to revise, but didn't do as much as I did last year. Just got the results back and I passed everything, woot woot! Immunology caught me by surprise too, I got 90% which means that I'm okay to neglect immunology revision for the summer (to some extent) - the others were comfortable passes too, so I'm slightly chuffed.
Whilst slowly being killed by neuroanatomy, I've been having relationship problems. There are 3 different people in the world,
1) someone who values their career more than their relationship
2) someone who values their relationship more
and 3) amazing super-hero like people who manage to balance things out.
Now, like probably most of my other hardworking medic friends, I am type 1. There's a few who comes under 3, but they're like, amazing.
And on the other side of the relationship, there are 3 types of people:
1) someone who can accept that the other's career is important and accepts that they don't have as much time as they wanted to spend with them
2) someone who fails to do the above and becomes unhappy
3) someone who's equally busy and pre-occupied by work that not only are they 1, they don't have as much time for the other either.
My flatmate goes out with a 4th year medic, therefore her boyfriend is a 3. But mine? He falls under 2. He called me last night to say that - yes I did feel guilty that I was having to "fit him around my schedule" a bit, maybe I didn't make him feel valued and for that, I was in the "wrong".
So anyway, maybe it's like in "500 days of summer". "Life" just happens. He thinks we're "on a break" but to be honest, we both killed it. It's strange though, because only a few days ago he came round and it was so nice, and on the phone since then, it's also been nice. But yea, life.
I was upset that night when he called, slightly surprised it happened at that moment but I was kind of expecting that day to come. The funny thing is, maybe I was slightly on the "low" the next day at school but apart from that, I was quite fine. It also helped that I personally don't expect that much from life in general though.
